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17 janvier 2007

WEDNESDAY 25th October 20006

"Perhaps you should make some tea" her friend suggested.
She thought about it. But she ended up not doing it.
She had gone to University this morning, and everything was weird. Sleep must have forgotten to sweep yesterday's thoughts away, she thought. The thing was still in the air.
She wore lipstick and her head was covered with a shawl. She was embarassed because she saw people staring at her. Perhaps her teeth were smeared with lisptick. Or perhaps she had forgotten to put on her skirt. She checked. She saw that her coat wasn't buttoned the right way, so she made some changes and walked further. She saw M. She didn't know whether she ought to say hi to her or no, because, apparently, M. had not noticed her, so she just walked past and bought some water. She saw M. again, on her way back, and decided to say something this time so she just called her name, and they started a conversation. They talked about the English class and perhaps there was still lipstick on her teeth or perhaps she shouldn't have put this stupid shawl around her head – it certainly seemed weird.

M. was very cheerful and had a chanting voice, and they had talked for about five minutes. Then she said she had to go, and went waiting in front of the library. When M. came out, they met again, and M. said "Tu ressembles à une gitane. Une belle gitane.". She let out a little laugh, and waved goodbye. Her friend W. came and they entered the library. Literature was the world they shared, the world they liked. So they entered the world of books, and suggestions came, and compliments, and they shared impressions and thoughts. At the bus stop, her friend W. had said that she had heard someone comment on Virgina Woolf's suicide, saying that it was a brave thing to do. She looked shocked. She didn't believe in suicide or in the promotion of it. She didn't know Leonard Woolf was Jewish either. But still, she didn't believe in death. So she went away, thinking of the last sentence she'd heard "perhaps you should make some tea" – but she didn't.. She thought about the lipstick on her teeth, about the shawl she had worn and put away by now, she thought about the sentence "you ought to be self-confident - not self-conscious."

Then, the German student came for her French lesson. And they had a good time. She felt a sense of achievement. At last.

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